It's Far Past the Time

It’s taken far too long

And consumed almost all of my soul

To embrace the reality of it all.

It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done to

Step out of denial

And into the light of truth

To tell myself in the mirror

“You must let go.

He does not want you.

The words spoken

Were only words

The love that was given

Is not returned.”

For more days than

I care to admit

I let myself

Believe that I could change his heart

That I could make him see

That we were each other's destiny.

But his eyes are closed

And he chooses not to see

He has chosen his life

And it doesn’t include me.

But why should that hurt the most?

More than being only a dirty little secret?

More than being used when it is convenient?

More than being told I mean the world,

Only to be shown that I’m not worth even one hour.

Why does the pain of letting go

And doing what’s best

Hurt more than letting myself

Be cut and cheapened?

So it is time to let go,

Of dreams that are fading

Of hopes that lifted me high.

Of a certainty that shakes my beliefs to their core.

For what I knew, is no more.

And I'm left to doubt

My own heart

that betrayed me far more deeply

Than any other soul has done.