Where do I start?

I'm a freak - there is no denying it.

Monday, October 26, 2009

What else?

Bad time in life for Joan right now. I don't know that I have ever felt so alone. I just can't pull everything together for everyone, so for now I have to focus on me so that I can continue to do what I need to the most, which is being Julian's mom. So even though I feel pretty much alone in the world, am separating from Dayn, have no means of transportation, can't go to school, have almost no friends anymore, and am entering my winter blues, I have to find strength somewhere. Tall order. I know I'll make it through, just a really frightening prospect at the moment. I am begging the universe - please, don't give me any more to deal with. I just can't take it.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

I miss school!

So, I wasn't able to go to school this semester for financial reasons. Stupid money should not get in the way of my education, but it does. And I miss it so bad! I think overall I am good at being a student, as long as I am serious about what I want to do. And it is so stupid that I couldn't buckle down before! Sometimes I wonder why I haven't been able to focus more. Seems like I have wasted so much time! But, I guess all that really matters is that I am serious this time, and doing well. I am hoping to take three classes in January. It would be great if i could work it out so I could take two online classes and one in person (which will be math, duh!). That is my current goal.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

A trail basis...

So, I need something new to keep myself encouraged. I think I'll use this blog as a way to keep myself in check and on track.

Feeling strong emotionally. Not sure I'm in what I would call a healthy place, but it is a survival place, and that is good enough for now. More to come.