finally!

Man, the first half of this year was about as challenging as I could have imagined! But it was worth it, because I am at peace and now more happy and more myself than I have felt in years!!

Betrayal is an evil, life-draining emotion. It hurts. But by taking control of the end result, and deciding not to give my energy to people who are capable of betrayal has been the best thing I could do for myself. I will no longer be tolerant of toxic relationships. I will no longer give my energy and soul to those who do not reciprocate. I will honor myself by surrounding my life with people who emulate the kind of love I am!

So I'm back on the path. As I approach 40, I am determined to make it my new 20. I am going to have fun on the way. I'm going to learn, and enjoy being the person I am, instead of feeling bad for not being what someone else thinks I should be. I am going to honor and cherish my child, and teach him by example that he is amazing and deserves to be treated with unconditional love and respect. Funny how EVERYWHERE we go he gets complimented for his brilliance and good behavior, except when you would most expect it (around our family). I will no longer succumb to that - he deserves better.

I am so grateful for what I have. I am grateful for who I am. I can control my own destiny. If I am lonely, then I need to go make new friends. If I want to go somewhere, I need to figure out how to do it and make a plan for it to happen. If I want to learn something new, I need to use the resources available to me. I truly feel alive for the first time in many years. It is a relief, and it is wonderful.

Thanks to the universe for giving me the love and tools I need. Thanks to those who are a part of my life for never giving up on me even when I have given up on myself. Thanks to my son for being the most amazing child a mother could ever have. Thanks to those who have wronged me for serving as a reminder of what I do not want and cannot have in my life. Thanks to love, and light and laughter.

Whew! I am so happy!