Holidaze

First, a rant:
So, in my family we draw names to decide for whom we each are to buy a Christmas gift.
I got my brother, difficult. So I'm looking at sports paraphernalia for the Chicago Bears, his favorite football team, and come across an autographed football. The football, plain. The signature, Mike Ditka. I place the first and only bet in the auction with less than 15 minutes to close. I bid much higher than our dollar limit, but it seemed reasonable. I am watching the auction carefully and with one minute and twenty three seconds until it ends, I am outbid. I totally lost in and panicked. What would I get him if not this? I was already above the limit, so why shouldn't I bid higher? This is dumb, don't do it. But, the competitor in me won and I kept bidding and bidding until I won - at $23.00 higher than my original bid.
What a dumb ass! I mean, I love my brother, but he is spoiled enough. And he hurt my feelings recently. And what a dumb ass I am! I hope he likes it, anyway.

Second:
I do not like winter, and surely anyone reading this knows that. I really do not like the cold, nor the smog and dirty haze enveloping the city. I hate how everything looks lifeless and dead. It brings me down. I am trying really hard right now to stay above the pull, but it's not fun. I need to find time to take care of myself, of those things that no one else can really do except me, but I am overwhelmed by other demands on my time, and by the dang winter blues. I wish I could write about it, but alas, the writer's block seems neverending.